Log in

In a Land Far Far Away...

> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Friends
> Profile
> previous 10 entries

March 23rd, 2011

11:22 am
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. -Rita Rudner
A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
Dave Meurer, "Daze of Our Wives"

(Leave a comment)

January 13th, 2008

04:59 pm - My Lazy Sunday Afternoon
Quote of the Day: Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. -Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)

I'm still sort of recovering from the horrible head cold that had plagued me all week. I though I was getting better yesterday and very excited to rid of these germs when suddenly I felt them creep back in again as I was making dinner. I was so excited to get back to normalcy again and then this...again. So after dinner I took a night-time something or other figuring that would knock it out of my system. I was half right. I woke up so incredibly woozy I could've slept for another 3 hours which was weird because I had just slept for about 9. I had so many expectations for the day; cooking for the week, cleaning, laundry and the gym. I have to go to the gym. I haven't gone in a week. I kicked my own ass out of the couch (and with Jeff's help as well) I put in a load of laundry and put my work out cloths and out the door I went. I was proud. Yes. I made it to the gym and only accomplished about 15 minutes of cardio and my body just couldn't do it. It was still so tired from the meds. Well I wasn't really going to stress it. At least I did 15 minutes. I was on my way to do some groceries and starving at the same time. Bad idea. So I get what I need and then I see them, donuts. I figured, Oh who cares. 3 went in a sack. They were the tastiest most orgasmic donuts ever. I didn't care. I came home made myself some lunch and watched some tv. Got a little bored and took a relaxing bubble bath. I still have to fold the laundry thats dry, but honestly if I don't it won't bother me. No one will die. Today has turned into a lazy Sunday afternoon and I'm not bothered one bit. Tomorrow will be all about work and traffic and more work. I will saver today...along with the Snickers bar I purchased.
Current Mood: lazylazy

(Leave a comment)

January 6th, 2008

09:43 pm - Saturday
Quote of the day: In life we don’t get what we want, we get in life what we are. If we want more we have to be able to be more, in order to be more you have to face rejection.-Farrah Gray

This past Saturday was absolutely wonderful. I can honestly say that I haven;t felt that 'free' in a while. On Friday night I was at Carolyn's house because she wanted me to come to her purse party the next day and hang out and possibly go to the gym. But I had to be at work at 7:30 on Saturday morning and work on a client who needed me desperately and since I needed the money desperately to fix my check engine light on my truck I figured that we needed each other equally. I was done by about 9:45ish and was going to get a wheat bagel with egg white for my breakfast #2 and wanted to buy Carolyn and Lance breakfast since they were nice enough to fix me a great dinner the night before. The purse party was a lot of fun and I got to socialize a bit with all of the ladies that attended. I didn't end up buying anything. Nothing really caught my eye anyway. I'm not really into Bijou purses. We were going to go to the gym, but her dog had been feeling sick for quite sometime and she was worried about him, so I suggested that she take him to the vet and I would go with her for moral support. Off to Petsmart. By the time we got back it was about 4:30 or so and I hadn't even showered. She felt really bad that we didn't get to work out, but I told her not to sweat it, thats what tomorrows for. I showered and called Theresa to tell her that I would be at her place in about 30 minutes.

Theresa had met someone named Jack on the internet and really wanted my input on him. She knows that I'm usually a good judge of character. She has been single now for about 3 years and was really ready to meet the man of her dreams. She had done the internet thing many times before, but this time she was convinced that she had struck gold. I got there and the energy of the place was totally different. The energy was so wonderful it nearly blew me away. And there he was, Mr Wonderful himself. I introduced myself, gave Theresa a huge hug and he asked me if I wanted a cocktail. Well absolutely. Theresa as usual was cooking a wonderful meal, spaghetti with sausage. She is full blow Italian and can turn a lump of shit into lobster tail, I don't know how she does it. I got a chance to know him. Jack works for Buckley Airforce Base doing Computer Engineering and has 18 men under him that he manages. He seemed bright, smart and very witty. I like that. Before we sat down for dinner he said that the place needed some music. The atmosphere was too quiet. Fleetwood Mac. We sat down for a wonderful meal of spaghetti, sausage and garlic bread that was so garlicky I know that you could smell my breath from across the room. Yummay! Dinner was done and the dishes were being put away, I was sipping my Smirnoff ice when the song came on, Silverspring. I started to hum which then turned into a low singing voice, just enough for me to hear it, or so I thought. I like to sing even though I'm not the best at it. It's a release for me. It suddenly turned quiet and I could only hear myself singing. I look up and Jack and Theresa are staring at me. Crap. I hate being the center of attention. I stop. 'Common girl!! Show me those pipes!!' Jack shouted. 'Oh no, oh no' I said wanting to cower in the corner. 'Here honey take this' Jack pours a small amount of Pepsi into a almost full glass of Vodka and hands it to me.'Ok honey, take a sip and now sing'. So I did. And before you know it we are all sining and drinking and prancing and laughing and being so free. Free. I felt free. I wasn't thinking about today or yesterday or what I had to do 10 minutes from then, not a care in the world. It was one of the most wonderful feelings ever. No one knew that I had the desire to sing. Heather was always the singer and performer. She always loved to spot light. I remembered one time I was sining in her house not knowing that her father was in the doorway listening. He said I had a beautiful voice and Heather scoured. 'Oh girl we have to do karaoke night we have to!' Jack shouted. 'Sure that would be fun'.
That will be sometime next week I think. And you know what? I can't wait.
Current Mood: creativecreative

(Leave a comment)

August 19th, 2007

02:57 pm - My Best Week Ever
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen US movie actor, comedian, & director (1935 - )

Its amazing to me that my vacation felt like it was an eternity away and then it snuck up on me. And of course flew by and I had the best time ever!! Lately I learned to appreciate something I've never really learned to enjoy; relaxation. Throughout most of my life I been running around at 100 miles per hour, and once I would find myself slowing down I would immediately try to find something else to occupy the time. Never ever learning to be still. Now that my days have been longer and more strainuous and don't forget about the hour drive each way to get to work, sitting has actually been very exciting to me. I distinctly remember needing to do something for myself or else I would scream. A pedicure saved my sanity that day.

I remember being so anxious to go that I cold barely sleep that Friday night and when that alarm woke me up at 4 am I popped out of bed like toast from a toaster. I was more than ready to go.

I connected from Colorado Springs to Dallas to New York. Colorado Springs to Dallas was fine, but Dallas to New York not so fine. I sat next to someone who smelled so bad that flies probab;y wouldn't even circle him. I had to force myself to sleep for most of the flight so I wouldn't get a headache from the stench. To say the least that when the palin landed and the door opened I cut everyone off so I could breathe some real fresh air. I was at the baggage claim waiting for my bag and....(sniff sniff sniff) what is that smell?! He was right next to me again!!! Get away!!

Sunday was a blast. Danielle was nice enough to take me to Jones Beach and it was a perfect day. We got lost along the way because she took the wrong directions by mistake, but its all good. I mean common!! Its us!! Do you expect for things to go smoothly? Right.... I actually laid out. I squiggled, and squirmed a little. Danielle and I decided at our hand at the ocean. Ocean won.

Monday was the boat ride and I was SO excited to finally meet Gia, Dana and Diana since I've heard such fabulous things about them forever. The boat ride was an absolute blast except for the fact that the ac didn't work and food and drinks were outrageous, but its manhattan, its expected. There was one comedian (of course I forgot was his name is) was so incredibly funny I was crying and nearly peeing myself. It was great.

Tuesday and Wednesday seems to fly by. The weather was so humid you didn't even need to do anythin to break a sweat. I did see Debbie and she looks great actually. It looks like she is finally taking care of herself and the house even looked cleaner. They have been cleaning out the house and garage and having garage sales on the weekends to try to get ride of some stuff. I also saw Brian would looked very thin. His ears looked huge because his face was so sunken in. He seemed very happy to see me. Gave me a big kiss on the cheek and picked me up and gave he a big bear hug. I suggested that we go out for lunch and chat and seemed eager which surprised me. We never got around to doing it. He seemed busy and I wasn't there long enough to.

Thursday was the big day. I had absolutely no motivation to do anything. The weather was so crappy and it was cold. Like really cold. Cold enough to need a jacket and here I am in all of my glory with a strapless dress and 3 inch high heels. Thats me, always prepared. I got there and Jasmine and Devon were at the front table. Jasmine looks good. She gained a little weight, but lets face it were're not 17 anymore. But Devon got really big, like surprisingly big. Bigger than in her wedding pics which shocks me. Than the rest of the crowd started to trickle in.
Missy still looks exactly the same and she used to live in upstate ny until her roomate and good friend dicked her over for her boyfriened and she was forced to move back in with her parents sice the apartment was too expensive and she couldn't afford it on her own. She is also in a line of work that she is unhappy with and really wanted to pursue teaching except her parents didn't approve.
Andrea did go to school for theater or something having to do with theater in the Carolinas and that didn't pan out so she is now living with her mother going to school full-time and is currently unemployed. She still has that beautiful face but she warned me on the phone that she had been doing nothing but eating because she has been so depressed with her live status. I feel terrible for her.
Jennifer Hester is married with 1 stepchild and 1 of her own in Marlbouro, ny doing graphic design. She seems pretty happy with life. Her appearance has certainly changed though. If I saw her on the street I would have never recognized her. She is still a sweetheart.
All in all it was a pretty interesting dynamic of people that either found their niche right away and people that are still trying to find their purpose. Maybe thats what out 20's are all about. Trying to find what turns us on makes us tick. Some have found it so expensive to live and stay in ny that they are getting ready to move out of state. They say that they are tired of depending on their parents and its pointless. I can't blame them. I would like to think that you have many more choices in this world about what you want to do and where you want to do in. That we aren't neccessarily bound. We are only as bound to something as much as we want to be.
Current Mood: contentcontent

(Leave a comment)

June 29th, 2007

10:20 am - Oh No!! Could it be the Coffee!!!!
Quote of the Day: "How sweet coffee tastes! Lovlier than a thousand kisses, sweeter than Muscatel wine!"
Johann Sebastian Bach (Coffee Cantata)

I have been doing a little health experiment. For the past year or so I have been very dizzy. Dizzy enough to disturb me and sometime dizzy enough for me to be afraid to drive and I was never sure what it was. I felt this way about 2 years ago and I saw Dr. Schwartz and he told me that I was pretty toxic and I was having a overload of certain vitamins that body just didn't need so He told me the ones I should be on; Vitamin c, b, calcium, amino acids fish oils and folic acid. And so thats what I've been doing along with a detox cleanse and everything seemed to be OK until a year ago. The dizzyness came back. What is it that could be doing this too me. I've even added juicing to my regimin. I juice about 2 to 3 times a day. Combos of apples, carrots, oranges, grapes, pineapple, cantelope and other friuts and veggies. So you would figure I would be feeling great right? Wrong. Figures. There are people out there that never excersize, drink, smoke and eat all kinds of shit all day they probably feel ok. Maybe not great, but at least ok. So what the hell!!!??? Maybe I should start smoking again? Jeff would never kiss me again. He said that he once dated a girl that smoked and he said it was like kissing an ashtray. That relationship was short lived.

I was making my usual morning coffee the other day and I was staring at the brewing pot and suddenly it occured to me. Could it be the coffee....no....it can't be. I had my morning cup. Only 1 of course and wouldn't you know it I was dizzy...again. So I formed an experiment. To juice in the morning and not have my wonderful cup of brew and see what happenes. Well I've juiced for 4 days and felt just fine and then I had a cup of coffee yesterday morning. About 2 hours later I felt incredibly dizzy and I got the crazy shakes. It was the strangest thing. Have I formed an intolerance to coffee. My lovely wonderful reliable cup of brew that gives me motivation to wake up in the morning? Is it really so? My only vice that I cling onto for dear life is now gone. No more cookies, brownies, icecream, cigarretts and now coffee. This is such a cruel and unfair world. Maybe decaf? Oh why bother. Just like my last cigarrette before I officially quite I had no idea that my one was truely my last one. Maybe one every once in a while? To cheat or not to cheat. Cheat!!!
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed

(Leave a comment)

March 1st, 2007

04:10 pm - My Lesson Learned...
Quote of the Day: Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk.
Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, Three Doctors, 1993

This passed month has been particularly hard for me, both financially and emotionally.
For the last few months, work has been slower, which means not alot of cash flow in my direction, which stresses me to no end. I don't have Mommy and Daddy to help me with all of my bills, I am totally on my own. My only blessing was January were I made a killing since December was a flop because of all of the snow. God I am SO sick of the snow. So although January was great, I had to play catch-up with my bills the entire time and make sure that my head was afloat. Then came February, the month of financial suicide. Cancellation after cancellation on my schedule. Frustration after frustartion came over me until anger and hyterics came over me. After I had just walked into work, my first one had just called to cancel and I absolutely lost it. I had to leave and go home and collect myself. I immediately called Danielle because she always makes me feel better (a shout-out to Danielle YAY!!) and brought some clarity to the situation. And I know this sounds totally dumb, but she got me into the astroloy web-sit that said for me be patient about February finances so I was, so I thought. Danielle brought it to light that its OK to scream and cry like a wild banshee. That I don't have to be strong all of the time. That the rock that I try to be, can crumble every once in a while but as long as I build myself bigger and better that things would be fine. That was my very important lesson learned. Thank you.

Jeff is fully moved into his place and its kind of strange. The relationship hasn't really changed, just the place of residence, but I feel closer to him. I imagine so much now when I walk in there. I imagine waking up in the morning making breakfast, us cooking dinner together, us going down the street and walking our dog together. My imagination of our future and the reality of it is so much more real to me. I can invision us painting and the he splaters me with paint and then I splatter him back and before you know it we are completely covered head to toe in paint. Oh Lord, here I go getting emotional again...I know its ok. I find myself sitting on the couch staring into outer space just imagining every about my new life, everything about our lives and our lives with our new dog Murry (thats the name we are naming it) Oh boy...emotions again...I know its still ok. Thank you teaching me that it is ok to sob and cry until snot comes pouring out of my nose and I start to hyperventilate. I promise to do it more often. Thank you.
Current Mood: lovedloved

(Leave a comment)

February 13th, 2007

11:32 am - And He's Movin' On Up!!.....
Quote of the Day: A good home must be made, not bought. Joyce Maynard, "Domestic Affairs"

With much pursuasion from me, and more thought on his part he finally did it. Jeff has finally taken the giant leap of faith and made a realestate purchase. About a month or so ago, I remember him calling me in a excitement-panic mania telling me that I had to come down because he had narrowed his choices down to 2 and needed my opinion. The weather was horrible, I had no heat in my truck and the roads were suicidal. I was seriously thinking of not going and telling him that would be satisfied on whatever descion he made. But then I thought about it, this was so important to him, and it was so thoughtful of him to consider my feelings and opinion. So I went.

I met Jeff and the realtor at 4pm at the first place of observation. It was a newer 2 story with newer appliances, a little under 1000 square feet, central air and ceiling fans, but it was missing something. It was missing pizzaz. It was so generic. It looked like everyother place. I observed carefully with one arm crossed while the other hand was scratching my chin. I 'ok'd' and 'mmhhmm'd' and nodded my way through carefully taking everything in. Then I said 'ok well off to the next I guess.'

A little furthur down we parked in front of a end unit to a townhome community. I first noticed how quite the envirenment was. We parked in front of a large garage and looped around to the front door with a decent sized front porch. The front door was opened and the first thing you notice are the vaulted ceilings and a wood fireplace in front of you. This place is older. Circa 1984 with older appliances from the same era, old fashioned counter tops, needs a new paint job, a little over 1000 square feet, a garage and you can certainly tell that older people lived there because in the bathroom there were support beams attached to the walls beside the toilet and in the shower. This place certainly needs a little tlc, but this place has alot of potential. The living space is wonderful and the master bedroom has lovely vaulted ceilings just like the living area does. I looked and observed and disected the place and said 'ok, this is the one, this is it.' It was kind of funny because it was like I was the deciding factor. He immediately put in a bid and he got it. I was soooo excited and happy for him. He was a little apprehensive about it but of course he is. This is his first large purchase so its natural to feel that way. Our futures together and separately look so promising. This is going to be a totally rockin' year for the 2 of us!!!!
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful

(Leave a comment)

September 18th, 2006

11:29 am - I'm His Million Dollar Baby
Quote of the Day: To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.
Madonna, O Magazine, January 2004
US actress & rock singer (1958 - )

Something remarkable has happened to me. I think it has finally hit me. That all of this is real. That its no joke. That he is here to stay. No ifs ands or buts about it. Yep....

Jeff gave me a phone call at around 9:30am on Thursday after my doctors appointment and since I was never expecting a phone call from him, my ophone was no where near me. He left a voice mail just wanting me to call him back. Ok... He picked up,

Me: Hey Honey!! Whats up?
Honey: Hey honey, whats your address?
Me: Why do you need it?
Sweety: Just tell me your address and then I'll explain why.
Me: Ok... (then address follows)
Lovey: Ok honey thanks. You have become an instant millionaire.
Me: What?? What are you talking about.
Hot Stuff: I just made you the beneficiary to my life insurance policy.
Me: What?? (not knowing what else to say) You did what??
Sweetheart: I just made you the beneficiary to my...
Me. No I know what you just said...Are you sure?
Jeffyweffy: Well yeah sure. (says it quite calmly)
Me: Oh...Ok.... (eyes bugging out of my head, wanting to scream)
Hottywatty: Well I may as well you are the only one with a permanent address. My mom is in rehab, my sister is in jail and my Dad well he is floating around right now (which mind you I didn't know that)so it looks like your it
I wasn't quite sure what to say or how to act, I was quite stunned to say the least so the only thing that I could do is joke about it.
Me: Well then it looks like I'm goin to make an...extra..special ..dinner..this weekend *muhahaha* (loud evil laugh)
Sweetypants: Now now honey, it has to be a natural death.
Me: Oh honey, common, I've got big bills to pay, student loans, car apyment, help me out here!! (loud laughter from both sides)

I hung up the phone and it didn't really hit me. Of course it didn't the rest of this relationship didn't why would a million bucks make me realize anything!! Then I spoke to Danielley the next day and oh Danielley knows how to put things in perfect perspective. I told her what had happened and she basically said that out of all of the friends and family, he picked me and that I was a pretty darn special person in his life in order for him to do that. That this should exclude any doubt I have about him. And she is so right, God I'm such a dummy!!! Why didn't I understand to begin with. The conversation ended with so many things going through my mind. I got to the Springs and gave him the biggest hug and kiss ever and looked in his eyes and said,'Honey, I love you so much,' He looked at me a little strangely and said,' Well honey, I love you too.'
We ate dinner and had sometime to kill before the movie (we saw the Black Dahlia..not recommended) so he wanted to get the new John Mayer CD. Off to Barnes and Noble we went. He bought the CD and the very excited Jeff put on the CD and off we go. On the way to the movie theater it suddenly hit me. It wasn't anything in particular that happened, it just hit me. I was in his truck looking out the window with tears rolling down my face, praying to God he wouldn't see me. From the corner of my eye I could see that he turned to look at me, but I'm not sure if he saw me crying or not. I tryed to be a quiet adn unobvious as possible. No wipping of eyes or nose, no sniffling. Then I realized that I neeeded this man in my life and couldn't imagine him not being in it. My wall is down. Take me for who I am and I will surely do the same. I feel that I can FINALLY and well DESERVINGLY can get excited about this relationship. It now hit me, not when we became engaged like I thought, but only when I became his Million Dollar Baby.
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic

(Leave a comment)

May 1st, 2006

09:54 am - The Best Birthday Wish I Could've Wished For
Quote of the Day : Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.
Barry Switzer US football coach (1937 - )

Well last Saturday on the 29th, I turned 28. Usually my birthdays are somewhat depressing. I start thinking about all of the things I should've accomplished by the time I turned of age. All of the same things that most of my friends accomplish I have yet to do. I must admit, I did start thinking that way, all of the things I should've done or at least start thinking about. But then I stopped myself and accepted that my life has a certain time line, I may not agree with it, but things will fall into place.

This past birthday was probably the best in history. It started with a wonderful birthday kiss from Jeff,'Happy Birthday honey.' On my way home an enthusiastic call from Heather, 'Happy Birthday!!!' she screamed. A giggle and laugh was my response, 'Thank you.' She says that she'll do something for my birthday when she gets out here. 'Don't bother,' I said, 'A phone call is enough for me.' Of course she insisted. I get home and check the mail. A purple slip letting me know there is a parcel at the front desk, electic bill, junk, and 2 birthday cards. One from my mom and one from a family friend Alice. They were both extremely sweet cards. I've always loved a good Shoebox. Went to the front desk and saw a large sized box with very recognizable handwriting, my Mother's. Picked it up and layed it in back of the Explorer. Went home with hands and arms full of stuff, and went in the kitchen and see a card from Sara, quite the funny card too. Opened it up and A Old Navy gift card came out at me along with a smile. Tore open the box and a miriade of things lay in front of me, a box of Mallowmars (a type of cookie I've looked for high and low in this Godforrsaken state and still can't find), a bottle of white wine, wine glasses, hand lotion, body lotion, shower gell, a Michael Koors t-shirt and a yummy sheet set. They spoil the hell out of me. I ripped open box of Mallowmars an I was in heaven.

I scurried around the aparment madly cleaning, doing laundry, grocery shopping, I can never get away from those things. Jeff was going to be at my place by 6pm, so I had to be in the shower by 5. Five o'clock came along and my phone rings, its Danielle!! 'Happy Birthday!!,' in a cheerful tone. I told her that I couldn't really talk because I had limited time to get ready. She told me to call her the next day with all the details. I said I would. 'Have fun!!'

I leaped in the shower, scrubbed and soalked and shaved everything perfectly. Put on my beatiful dress, matched my accessories, put on my new heels and sprayed myself down with Ralph Lauren's Romance.

He came at 6 on the dot looking EXTREMEMLY handsome. Black slacks, new shiney Steve Madden shoes and a white and blue button down shirt with several bags in towe. 'Are these for me?!, I asked. He looked at me with a blank look and said, 'Ya know, I'm not sure, no...I don't think they are...' 'Give those to me!!' I demanded. All together he gave me a book called Marley and Me which I've wanted forever, 1st season of Grey's Anatomy, my protien powder that I haven't had in forever, my favorite hand lotion from Crabtree and Evelyn and 2 hand-dipped chocolate covered strawberries. I was so shocked at the money that he spent on me considering he spent $155 last weekend for my dress. I was totally stunned. Off we went.

We parked and found the restaurant,Bistro Vendome. It is small, but quaint. Almost like you are having dinner at someone's house. We started out with the Steak Tartar, which was perfect, Jeff oved it. Then they gave us a complimentary taste of the carrot and saffron bisque which was to die for. Then the main course, roasted lamb shank with mashed potatoes in a port wine reduction. Melt in your mouth yummy. The lamb practically fell off the bone. I brought my strawberries for desert, he had an espresso. He got the bill, I got the my coat and we were off to Impulse Theater, the funniest place on earth.

It was such a beautiful night, so we decided to walk. We got there and saw a hysterically funny show and we got back to my place at around 12:30pm. It was the most spectacular birthday ever. I am quite the lucky gal.
Current Mood: gratefulgrateful

(Leave a comment)

April 6th, 2006

02:11 pm - Hell Hath No Fury Than A Mother Scorned
Quote of the Day: When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.- Sophia Loren

My Mother and I have never been really very close in our lives, not even as a child. Most of my vivid memories are with my dad taking me to the park taking pictures of me, making me brownies, or just hanging out watching tv. Whatever the weather was, we were always out and about. My dad was always my hero. I would always remember my mom working, or cleaning or was just too busy for me. And no matter how much I wanted to be with her, she was just always too busy for me. Then as I got older while my dad would never really tell me what to do, he always trusted my judgment and even if it wasn't the right thing to do at the time, he would let me do it anyway so I could learn. My mother was always hollering at me, being totally overbearing, always telling me what to do and never letting me learn on my own. I know that she was just trying to protect me, but it was like her way was always the best way. That my ideas or thoughts never counted for anything and I've always had a resentment for her whent it came to that. And of course, old habits die hard.

Ever since I've moved here, she would always tell me how much better my life would be if I moved back home. I mean she didn't just want me to move back to New York, but she thought it was a great idea to give up everything I have here and move back home with them. I don't think so. Sure thats what I'll do, I'll give my freedom, career, Jeff and independence so I can move in with my parents. Right. That sounds totally logical. And she has been harping at me about this almost every time I talk to her and for the past 3 years and every time I've bitten my tongue, until today. She knows that it bothers me when she says those things, but she thinks its a big joke. And again she doesn't take me seriously. I just about blew my top and told her that it really hurts my feelings when she says the things that she does. Basically insinuating that I don't have much of a life here. That there is no reason why I can't pick up and go. I let her know that she is very wrong. And I told her that if she didn't stop, then I wouldn't call anymore. I don't think that she believed me, but then her toon totally changed. She actually apologized and said that she didn't mean to make me mad. I know that she is only doing it because she loves me, but she also has to accept the fact that I am sometimes going to do things that make me happy, but that she may not agree with. I told her that I happy and that it would be unfair (and unrealistic) for me to give up everything I have here just to move back and make her happy. Its not going to happen.
Current Mood: determineddetermined

(Leave a comment)

> previous 10 entries
> Go to Top